drjondabach
Region: US
Monday 09 February 2026 12:53:19 GMT
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Janab E Aali :
Aaaah, I get it now. I have to do ALL the work, and they have to put in 0 effort, else, they as a DA will walk away because I’m not really worth them working on themselves or putting any effort into the relationship.
2026-02-09 19:09:02
146
✨️ :
What I dont understand is why I have to change something in order for him to invest in the relationship properly?!?
2026-02-09 22:35:29
86
Lauren :
Let me save you years of pain right now- WALK AWAY
2026-02-09 17:58:49
178
Stacy | The Homemaker’s Hustle :
Still they mistake detachment as resolution so the emotional complacency remains. They make great roommates though.
2026-02-09 14:33:51
69
Peij :
why do I have to give up everything? why can't I hold him accountable to change? this is not sustainable advice. but I do not want to lose him.
2026-02-10 21:22:15
9
Ash :
Essentially you always have to be the solid one. You can never depend on them or show up in any way less than perfect and grounded at all times (unreasonable for 99.99% of people). I just couldn't do it. I nedd someone I can be real and imperfect with. It's a give and take.
2026-02-09 14:30:54
41
🫥 :
Walk away. That's how you "make it work"
2026-02-09 22:42:23
38
LouAnne :
what I am hearing is if the woman has anxious attachment style married to a dismissive advoidment it will be a nightmare until both parties have self awareness to work on their attachment style.
2026-02-09 13:02:18
27
K.A.M. :
Why is it seem like They don’t have to do the work?
2026-02-09 19:25:16
55
Chelsea Dyson :
I won't speak to my husband for days, he eventually asks how my day is and I've learned he doesn't care what my answer is as long as it's "good"
2026-02-10 03:10:53
13
✨Alee✨ :
Ughhhh it’s just so one sided….maybe in looking at it wrong…but if I do this to help our relationship, what can he do to help? I feel like I’m the only one researching, communicating, trying new approaches, etc. it just seems unfair. I’m going to try to find a video on your page of what you advise for the Avoidant to do….i hope there is one. 👀
2026-02-10 03:37:16
5
Kathy 💓 💓 💓 :
what do u do if he still won't do any emotional work n u still are only getting less than you needs been met
2026-02-09 13:06:51
5
Brookie D💋 :
Could you do a whole series on this? I don’t understand how to make this last without slowly loosing yourself ?
2026-02-11 17:18:10
7
alldramafitmama :
Long story short: we are only responsible for how we feel and how we deal with our own emotions. So, we work on ourselves and hope for the best.
2026-02-09 13:46:35
7
stephanieblue19❌ :
You leave them there’s no working it out!!!!
2026-02-10 16:37:48
10
Dylan cornejo :
if you have ever gone through a breakup and asked what did I do wrong the forbidden codex of influence by Julian Voss actually gives some uncomfortable answers.
2026-03-24 16:09:41
0
kaileighfletcher0 :
So, what if, when we first met, there was love bombing, understanding, putting me on a pedestal, doing everything I ever wanted and needed. Then, after we got married, he almost instantly turned into this? He even warned me before getting married about his patterns and to remind him. I tried, and he still threatened to leave and not put in any work anymore. marriage is maintenance. I'm allowed to miss the man I met, and deserve him to put in the work to make me feel that same love, dedication, etc. that I do for him. When I give him space, he still doesn't reass, and come back. it gets pushed down.
2026-02-10 23:30:48
0
codeandchaos :
Or that just leads to both of us just retreating inside ourselves
2026-02-09 21:38:40
10
user8719428892325 :
So we should bend ourself inside and out to fit their needs.....
2026-02-09 17:23:36
21
Steph :
You’ll lose yourself in these relationships, it’s not worth it.
2026-02-13 06:22:17
16
Meeranduh :
Are you currently taking clients? He’s a dismissive avoidant and I’m losing my mind 😭
2026-02-09 17:28:36
2
Richelle 💜 :
this was helpful, thanks for sharing
2026-02-09 23:59:07
1
annamariesmith817 :
omgoodness where are you located? you are 1000% correct!
2026-02-10 00:11:44
1
Danielle Westervelt :
The hard part is when you “say what you need” and the DA doesn’t seem to hear it, so you continue to go without.
2026-02-09 23:43:48
3
altoid_dad :
What if I am, a man married to a DA woman? Same rules of engagement?
2026-02-10 03:31:54
1
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