vcIIo :
Bro this is so me, I have high functioning audhd, learnt masking naturally at a young age, created multiple “personality” you could say depending on the person I’m talking to, not out of deception, but out of necessity , i learnt most social cues and facial emotions through tv or movies, id put on these performances to fit in, depending who I was with they would change, again out of necessity. i learnt how to mirror people, reflect what they wanted to see or hear, which lead to a lot of fall outs, at this point i didnt even realise what i was doing, untill i was diagnosed, sat down and explained what i was doing, since id mirror what the other person wanted to see, it lead me to tell secrets with out understanding the impact it would have on the person that told me their secret, i was called two faced obviously, people began to pull away from me quickly, again at this point I must have been 13-17 and looking back I genuinely had no clue what i was doing, it was almost like a camouflage if that makes sense, everyday id finish school get into my room and just a wave of relief would ride over me, truly even around my parents, id be someone else, untill i was diagnosed at 20, i could finally start working on being sociable as my self. im not sure how to explain it to someone thats not neurodivergent, it must sound crazy to you, but to me its crazy you go through life with out a voice in ur head giving you instructions in every moment or situation, like an instruction tab in a game. its still extremely hard for me to break out of that mindset in a social setting. to not as this guy says, try to hard, or say something wrong, or weird.
2026-05-28 23:02:22