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@onlybasu1:
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Thursday 28 May 2026 02:26:05 GMT
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Defensiveness is one of Gottman's Four Horsemen of relationship rupture. But it's also a protective mechanism. The question isn't whether you're being defensive. The question is what it's protecting. The answer is usually this: discomfort. Avoidance and projection are two of the most common coping mechanisms in the world. And the reason they're so common is because they work — they take away discomfort in the moment. But they don't heal anything. And they don't connect you. Get curious about whether defensiveness is your default. And if it is, ask yourself: how do I dismantle that in a way that opens a path to actual connection? What do you really want? Most of the work is melting the things that are in the way of what you want. #nervoussystem #relationships #relationshiptips #menscoach #defensiveness
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