As I dance around in my bikini before me and my girlfriends go to hang by the pool, I can’t help but think about why society has such a problem with body fat like I genuinely love the way my body is it makes my mouth water it’s so curvy naturally I woke up like this. Why are we trying to brainwash women into not liking their bodies the year I stopped trying to lose weight was the year my net worth jumped enormously I put all that energy that I was putting into trying to shrink myself and put it into building a real estate empire. But can we talk about for a second the double bind of being either hypersexualizedfetishized or friend-zoned? Men get to be sexy and respected. Desired and taken seriously. A friend and a romantic partner. But I feel like it’s either or for me. The men who drool over my body are often men I wouldn’t even be friends with. We don’t share the same values. We don’t share the same vision. We don’t share the same ambitions. And then the men I deeply respect, connect with emotionally intellectually, spiritually, career forward, enjoy building with, and genuinely admire friend zone me. Do you know what it’s like to have nothing but relationship skills, huge ambition, high agency, high capacity, and constantly be reduced to the fat friend or the fetish? This isn’t me ranting about not liking myself. I love who I am. I love my body. I love the way God made me. I love my values. I love my courage. I love my ambition. I love my leadership. I love the person I’ve worked incredibly hard to become. And it just so happens that genetically, I’m extremely curvy. What I don’t understand is why it sometimes feels like I have to choose between being desired and being respected. I want both. I want to be deeply desired exactly as I am right now and valued as a friend by the same man, a real partner. I want someone who loves talking to me as much as looking at me. And it’s mutual. Someone who respects my mind as much as my body. Someone who wants to build a life with me, not just project a fantasy onto me. And if someday I gain weight, lose weight, build more muscle, lean out, or look completely different than I do today, I want to know the thing they love most is still me. Not because my body doesn’t matter. I’m just gonna call it like I see it. We have created fake news in our culture that marrying a fat chick is somehow a downgrade; some weird sick notion that you couldn’t pull better; meanwhile, hundreds of men are pouring into my private messages with inappropriate pictures and comments about how much they want me on a primal level the math ain’t mathing. I just wanna be loved and desired for who I am and be considered a high value high status woman because of my character and because I love myself and I have nothing but confidence in the person God helped shaped me to be… #HighValue #Fats #RespectAndDesire #ILoveWhoGodShapeMeToBe - @alliecat201