Ms. Y
Region: US
Sunday 20 September 2026 14:06:46 GMT
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Steph_8907 :
Kids need consequences from someone who loves them before they get them from someone who doesn’t.
2026-09-20 21:30:02
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tay🪩⚡️💗 :
I was kicked/head butted in the stomach daily by a 5 year old while i was pregnant. I miscarried. Do we know 100% if it was caused by that? No, but this child still had no consequences for anything he ever did. I was told “maybe try and build a better relationship with him.” WHAT.
2026-09-20 14:33:24
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lasapram :
I think it’s the Jail! part that some people might disagree with. It makes you sound like Fred Armisen. You could start with “your friends won’t like you.” The if you don’t act right you’ll go
2026-09-20 15:51:05
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Drink. Read. Repeat. Erin :
As a building principal (K-8) one of my biggest challenges is finding trauma-informed PD that goes past convincing educators that kids have trauma. So infrequently does it actually provide support on how to respond to this trauma while still holding kids accountable.
2026-09-20 17:01:00
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trevorbean548 :
Disregulated kids have a skills gap if they can't regulate on their own. Punishment on its own does not teach that. Any consequence that doesn't focus primarily on teaching needed skills is giving them a fish to feed them for a day.
2026-09-20 16:14:22
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b🎀 :
I always say their trauma is not an excuse for their behavior, but (elementary) it’s just a little something for the teacher to keep in the back of their head for management purposes.
2026-09-20 21:01:25
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rowan4224 :
understanding why and excusing are very different
2026-09-20 14:21:57
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Lindsay :
And why is it always admin?!?!
2026-09-20 23:23:00
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biebz9 :
I keep saying…it explains the actions, it doesn’t excuse it.
2026-09-20 14:39:18
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insert_wittyusername :
They will never be able to function as adults if they don’t know there are consequences to actions. And if home won’t do it, the school should. Someone has to look out for their best interests at the end of the day. You can’t get mad at bad work ethic etc when there is no discipline at home or school.
2026-09-20 16:59:35
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MeaaaaganS :
Yes!!! I also think there is a difference between giving consequences and teaching appropriate behavior. Both things need to happen.
2026-09-20 15:09:05
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M.M :
consequences can still happen even if you acknowledge that they have under developed brains. I mean, it is true that they don’t know how to regulate themselves yet, they’re children. The adults are the ones with the developed brains and the regulated emotions who need to guide them. Two things can be true at once.
2026-09-20 17:35:50
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jordannrubino :
Unless you're Lindsay Clancy 😭 but agreed
2026-09-21 14:37:49
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_aquarius_2020_ :
1000% agree. People try to dog whistle and say that natural consequences for harmful actions perpetuate the school to prison pipeline when it’s actually the reverse……
2026-09-20 17:11:40
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Nae Nae :
I tell my students (high school) almost daily to self regulate and just because it comes to your mind doesn't mean it has to come out of your mouth.
2026-09-21 01:12:26
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crzbioteacher :
Their background can help you understand their response, but it absolutely does not excuse violent/ harmful behavior. She's right- the people who start with the "well..." aren't doing that kid any favors.
2026-09-20 22:24:22
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Miracles and Mouse-ears :
Preach
2026-09-20 20:30:57
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Nikki Prophet ❌ :
The end, the judge and jury are only looking at your actions vs the law
2026-09-20 15:41:42
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Gwyn Larson :
100% agree! I work in ABA therapy, we teach 2-6 year olds not to hit or throw toys so that they don’t become 10,12,14,16 year olds that hit and throw things. It may not be so scary when they’re 3 but that’s why you correct when they’re young! Because bigger kids hit hard and bigger kids face legal consequences. These kids deserve compassion but they also deserve to be educated on how to self regulate so that they don’t have to face those major consequences in the future. Because the law doesn’t see a difficult home life, abuse, poverty, etc. it just sees the criminal action and the right to prosecute it.
2026-09-20 17:26:08
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yourgirlcourt :
Unfortunately many schools are full of emotionally stunted adults who exhibit poor behavior themselves so they enable children who are the same way. Not everyone of course but enough to be a problem
2026-09-20 20:54:40
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Cait :
Yep! I always say people are partaking in the school to prison pipeline for not holding these kids accountable for their behavior.
2026-09-20 15:32:28
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user6899923077382 :
I truly see where you’re coming from, and while I do agree with holding kids to expectations that they can meet, when it comes to kids who experience traumatic stress day in and day out, traditional consequences can be ineffective because the survival-based behaviors (fighting, running out the classroom, defiance, etc.) result from hypersensitive stress pathways in their brain. Because trauma literally alters and damages synapses, suspensions and sitting out at recess don’t do a single positive thing. You wouldn’t ask a child without legs to run, so it doesn’t make sense to hold traumatized children to expectations they cannot meet. As a child therapist currently working in a school, I really hate that this isn’t common knowledge.
2026-09-20 23:53:46
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Shannon Tricia :
One of my students learned this the hard way last year. Police were called bc he violently assaulted another student. The police were even willing to go easy on him at first since he was a minor with no previous record (afaik). But he was giving them lip and showing no remorse so they threw the book at him. He spent most of the school year in juvie and now he’s back with an ankle monitor. All bc he couldn’t just keep his mouth shut when he already knew he was in trouble.
2026-09-20 23:39:06
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💜🩷💜🩷Stacy :
We hear this all the time in middle school. We are crippling these kids.
2026-09-20 20:28:46
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SherriK :
I tell my kids all the time that it is awful to go through xyz, but those things cannot define us or hinder us from being the best version of ourselves.
2026-09-20 21:16:32
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