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rin_gallagher666
rin_gallagher666
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Wednesday 23 September 2026 01:03:03 GMT
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I keep seeing people get stuck on the word agree. But agreeing that someone had an experience is not the same as agreeing with every conclusion they made about you, your motives, your character, or the entire relationship. And sometimes the part you’re fighting so hard against was never actually said out loud. Your partner says they felt hurt, and your nervous system hears that you’re selfish, uncaring, failing, or fundamentally bad. Then you start arguing with that. That’s where shame can quietly hijack the conversation. The work is learning to separate what they actually said from what your brain made it mean about you long enough to stay in contact with their experience. Nuance matters. Your perspective matters. Accuracy matters. But if you’re listening mainly for the part you can dispute, you may already be defending yourself from something happening inside you. ❤️🤟🏻🌿 #UNFUCKYOURSELF #THEPOTTYMOUTHGURU #Defensiveness #ShameHealing #ImpactVsIntent
I keep seeing people get stuck on the word agree. But agreeing that someone had an experience is not the same as agreeing with every conclusion they made about you, your motives, your character, or the entire relationship. And sometimes the part you’re fighting so hard against was never actually said out loud. Your partner says they felt hurt, and your nervous system hears that you’re selfish, uncaring, failing, or fundamentally bad. Then you start arguing with that. That’s where shame can quietly hijack the conversation. The work is learning to separate what they actually said from what your brain made it mean about you long enough to stay in contact with their experience. Nuance matters. Your perspective matters. Accuracy matters. But if you’re listening mainly for the part you can dispute, you may already be defending yourself from something happening inside you. ❤️🤟🏻🌿 #UNFUCKYOURSELF #THEPOTTYMOUTHGURU #Defensiveness #ShameHealing #ImpactVsIntent

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