I was really looking forward to doing a makeup tutorial for you guys tonight with some of the new products I got from TikTok Shop, but unfortunately, some of them are still sitting in my mailbox, and I physically can’t make it there right now. Something I’ve been struggling with lately are the are days when I can’t even get out of bed, and as silly as it might sound to some people, being able to do my makeup, feel pretty, and have a little bit of normalcy in my day means so much to me. I’ve had quite a few setbacks lately between GI distress, being sick, and just the physical toll everything has been taking on my body. Sometimes it’s incredibly discouraging. There are moments when I find myself thinking, what’s the point? Why keep pushing so hard when it feels like my own body is fighting against me? I think something that doesn’t get talked about enough is that recovery isn’t just a mental process. Your body has to heal, too. And sometimes the physical side of recovery can be just as overwhelming as the psychological side. Being so weak that everyday tasks become enormous obstacles can have a tremendous impact on your quality of life, your independence, and even your ability to make progress. Sometimes taking a shower feels like running a cardiovascular workout. Sometimes I have to literally crawl up the stairs just to get my dogs’ chicken into the freezer so it doesn’t spoil after having groceries delivered. Things that most people don’t think twice about can take everything I have physically. And there’s another layer to this that I think is important to talk about. I spent so much of my life being conditioned to believe that resting was lazy, that being productive meant being valuable, and that I should always be doing something. So when my body physically won’t let me do the things I want or need to do, I struggle with an incredible amount of guilt. I can feel lazy, dirty, or even gross simply because I haven’t been able to shower, clean, get dressed, or accomplish the things I feel like I should be able to do. (My nurse has really helped reframe some of these thoughts as she does a lot of these daily life things I can’t for me, but they’re still there). It’s a really difficult mental battle when you know you’re not choosing to be this way, but you still somehow feel guilty for it. It’s hard to work on rebuilding your life when so much of your energy is spent just trying to get through the day. I also want to thank everyone who continues to show up for me, check on me, encourage me, and remind me that I’m not doing this alone. I genuinely appreciate this community more than you know. For anyone else in recovery who is feeling discouraged, frustrated, or like their body is working against them right now, I want you to know that I see you. I understand that feeling, and you’re not alone in it. Please remember that struggling physically doesn’t mean you’re failing mentally. Needing rest doesn’t make you lazy. Having limitations doesn’t make you less deserving of a full, meaningful life. I can’t promise you that tomorrow will be easier, but I want you to know that I don’t believe this moment has to define your forever. We’re doing the best we can with what we have today. And sometimes, that’s enough. ❤️ #MentalHealthAwareness #palliativecare #qualityoflife #findinghope - @monieelyse